Bombs, Blood and Meltdown

The last two weeks saw me clocking up a few firsts for my time in Nigeria.

I experienced my first bombing which was detonated in the car park of the Abuja Police Headquarters.  I missed the sound of the explosion but watched the smoky aftermath from my office window.  News reports suggest that it claimed eight lives, injured several others and destroyed about eighty cars.  It's certainly not the first bombing in Nigeria, although the fact that it was a suicide bomber is a new phenomenon.

Photo courtesy of nigeriadailynews.com

I was challenged with my first IT meltdown thanks to a nasty little virus that crashed my system.  It very much made me realise how reliant I am on technology to keep me in touch with the outside world.

And on a much lighter note, I donated my first pint of blood to the Nigerian National Blood Service as my little way of supporting World Blood Donor Day.

The theme for World Blood Donor Day 2011 was “More Blood More Life” aimed at reinforcing the urgent need for more people globally to become life-savers by voluntarily donating blood on a regular basis.

Approximately 93 million units of blood are currently donated globally to save lives and improve health.  Adequate supplies are crucial to replace blood lost in childbirth (a major cause of maternal death), to treat anaemia that threatens the lives of children who have malaria or are undernourished, for treating congenital blood disorders, and for routine and emergency surgery including life-saving treatment for the growing number of people injured in road traffic accidents.

It is estimated that Nigeria needs 1.13million units of blood annually to meet the country’s requirements for blood transfusions.  With a population of 158million, that means that just 0.7% of people could make all the difference.


There's loads of benefits to giving blood:

• “Doing good to someone in need not only helps the needy but also gives psychological satisfaction to the donor.  One of the easiest but valuable donations is the donation of blood for the needy."
• Blood donation helps to maintain healthy iron levels in the blood which reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke (and fights hemochromatosis).
• Blood donation helps to stimulate the production of new blood cells.
• Blood donors receive basic medical screening (weight, blood pressure, HIV, hepatitis viruses and syphilis) meaning that they are more in control of their own health status.
• Evidence shows that voluntary donors are at lower risk of transmitting life-threatening infections through their blood than family and replacement donors, and especially paid donors.

PS: 4 days until I depart for Tanzania so my blog will be especially quiet over the next few weeks.  Stay tuned though for some exciting photos and stories of adventure, fun and laughter!

Love, Marriage and Babies

These are three very serious topics in Nigeria, ranked utmost in the cultures value system, as I was quick to learn when I underwent my security clearance.  My interviewer read over my application documents, peered at me over the rim of her glasses and exclaimed "You're 39 years old, not married and don't have any children - are you gay?"

Having negotiated my way successfully through an explanation about my career, travel and freedom priorities we moved straight onto a very common assumption in Nigeria.  I'm a "bature" or an "oyibo" meaning a white person which instantly equates me with being wealthy and a very good marriage catch.  The interviewer jumped at the chance to brief me on the finer qualities of her brothers who were both available.  Not wanting to offend I used my most favourite tactic to move the conversation along without any sort of commitment... laughter.

Later in the interview we came to the topic of my salary.  She reviewed my documents and inquired as to whether I'd inadvertently left off a couple of zeros in my yearly earnings.  When I explained that the figure was accurate and talked about my being in the country as a volunteer, she was very swift to withdraw the offer of her brothers as my potential husbands.  Somehow I'm confident that the last laugh was on me!

My unfounded status as the ideal marriage partner means I'm eternally bombarded with male attention and I've come to find the Nigerian approach to pick up lines most amusing although at times relentless, tiring and downright annoying.  There's two key messages; power (to evidence that they'll give you a good life) and friendship (to prove that they're not looking for a casual fling).

• "I earn more than your boyfriend."  Take a moment to think about how many wild assumptions are in that one; I have a boyfriend, you know how much he earns and I'd dump him in an instant for more wealth.
• "I'm a business man - I could meet you in London, America, anywhere you like."  Well, that's nice dear but quite frankly I'm planning on staying in Nigeria.
• Another favourite approach is to immediately present you with a list of names of all the powerful people that they know.  Not much use on a girl from out of town, even if she was stupid enough to believe it.
• And this weekend I was handed a serviette by a waitress with no indication of where it came from that simply read "I would really like to be friends with you and I think a call would be appreciated."  Absolutely, I'll call a random number in the hope that my ideal match just happens to answer (not)!

Hembelembeh, Olohlololoh

Every morning I greet my driver with a "Hembelembeh" and he replies with an "Olohlololoh" and with that, we know we're in for a great day.  Words on a page don't quite do the phrase justice... it needs the pizazz of a rhythmical singing tone!  It's a tradition that spawned from our listening to the Brekete reality radio show each morning.  Brekete went to air in January 2010 and describes itself as "a voice to the voiceless, a leg to the legless, a hand to the handless and an advocate of the underprivileged."  "Hembelembeh, Olohlololoh" is their slogan which stands for happiness.  They believe happiness comes from social equity, from equal opportunity, from fairness, from hard work, patriotism and from faith in God.  Who can argue with that?  Hembelembeh!

The first catch cry that got my attention in Nigeria was "you're welcome."  It seemed the perfect greeting as I made my way through the airport terminal and all the airline staff presented me with a huge Nigerian grin and "you're welcome."  "Thank you" I'd reply with similar enthusiasm as I delighted in the passion of the people in my new home country.  The joy of my existence continued as my collection of "you're welcomes" amassed over coming days on arrival at the hotel, the office, the local market, shopping center, food vendors and even from people who simply seemed privileged that I'd entered their space on the pavement... "you're welcome."  Until it finally struck me that it's the Nigerian way of saying hello!  Whether you're actually welcome or not is an entirely different question.

This was perhaps a most important lesson in not taking meanings at face value and just in time for my next encounter of unique Nigerian terminology.  At the end of a meeting I was presented with a business card and the words "flash me."  Imagine the surprise of my colleague had I suddenly given them "Naked in Nigeria" for real?  As it turns out, "flash me" is a request to call someone and hang up so that you're number appears on their mobile and they can add you to their contacts.  Whether that leads to the more x-rated version of flashing we know in Australia is entirely up to you!

This week however I remain bewildered over another new term that presented itself in a media interview about the governments commitment to fairness and transparency in politics.  They adamantly claimed they would remove all shady characters and stamp out "the jinx of the proverbial banana peel."  I can only assume it alludes to those with slippery fingers and a penchant for corruption.  Stamp them out indeed!