Naked in Nigeria Goes Awol in Australia

After a decadent detour through Dubai, Naked in Nigeria looks set to be spending the rest of 2011 in Australia sorting through the red tape of work contracts and visas.  It's set to be a fun time catching up with family and friends, getting fit and enjoying some much missed favourite foods.  Stay tuned as plans for 2012 unfold... updates coming soon.

London Versus Nigeria

Finding myself in London with an unplanned month of time to kill I did a lot of reading.  One book that made it's way into my collection was "The Shadow of the Sun: My African Life" by Ryszard Kapuscinski which provided an apt description of Europe versus Africa:

"In Europe, the man on the street is usually heading toward a definite goal.  The crowd has a direction and a rhythm, which is frequently characterized by haste.  In an African city, only some of the people behave this way.  The others are not going anywhere; they have nowhere to go and no reason to go there."

And so it was that I found myself trapped between the two cultures; a Westerner by birth whose natural instinct was to walk with haste and yet I had nowhere in particular to go and no reason to go there.

Despite my lack of purpose as I idly waited for my return visa to be approved, it was apparent that my genetic predisposition of direction and rhythm shone through.  A few weeks into my stay and tour guides quit touting me with offers to see the sights of London - I can only assume that my pace suggested I was a local with somewhere very definite to be.  How do you think I felt when a group of Aussie backpackers sought my advice on directions and ridiculously I could assist because I'd been aimlessly combing the streets of London for so long?!  As I offered my advice they noted my Australian accent and inquired as to whether I lived in London.  To which the only response I could muster was "err, no, not really" although it was certainly starting to feel like that was the case.  Most intriguing of all however was when a Nigerian lady bailed me up and burst into tears about the troubles she was having trying to track down a police station that had found her missing wallet.  I couldn't help but wonder whether I gave off a Nigerian vibe that made her comfortable to seek my help... how bizarre!

London spoilt me with some Westerner delights that I'd definitely missed over the last six months... massages, waxing, hairdressers, dentists, shopping and food to die for!  I think I may have eaten my body weight in cheese!  I had the opportunity to catch up with Steph who'd just returned from three months in Spain, and Steve flew in from Dubai for four magical days together.

My return to Nigeria couldn't have come soon enough though.  I'd have always thought that if someone offered me a month trapped in London (or anywhere for that matter) with no responsibilities that it would seem like a dream come true.  The reality is that I felt useless!

Since returning home, I've laughed many times over at the weird little things I encounter that make Nigeria "home" for now...

• Where else in the world do bank tellers hand over your money and wish you good transactions?
• Where can you find cars with signs that say "buy me" or "marry me"?
• Not once did the hotel doormen in London make announcements like "you're going out" or "you're back" as I was leaving or returning... that can be very important if you ever have a moment of disorientation!
• Likewise, not a single Londoner took the time to smile broadly and say "well done" as I jogged through Hyde Park... that does wonders for motivation!
• In London you definitely can't own a crocodile, baboon or monkey as a pet!  Now before all you tree-hugging, animal activists post angry comments of disdain to this idea, let me emphatically declare that I am an animal lover and don't condone this notion... but let's be honest and remember that we're a country where human rights are still a work in progress... animal rights haven't quite made it to the political agenda!
• And there's certainly no advertising to make you laugh every day in London like the couple I've spotted since my return to Nigeria...

Is that a cham or a sham? A private lesson in what exactly? With artwork like that, you're clearly a winner!

Despite my London skin tone and the fact that I blended with the crowd and didn't have the pleasure of being reminded on a daily basis that I'm white, it was apparent that Nigeria has left it's mark on me.  I was certainly the only white person in London excited by the fact that cars drive in lanes and obey traffic rules... more than once I caught myself looking a little out of place as I waved with great enthusiasm and gratitude every time a car would actually stop and let me cross at a zebra crossing.  Anyone who's lived in Nigeria will understand just how very novel such an experience can be!

My parting piece of advice for Nigerians who might find themselves living in London and feeling a little homesick is to make a visit to the Nigerian High Commission.  From the outside it looks very London... it's a beautiful old building not far from Trafalgar Square... and yet it's like entering a twilight zone in that the second you cross the threshold it's like an instantaneous return to the chaos, loudness and laughter that's so absolutely Nigeria!

Naked in Nigeria Lets Loose in London

Just back to Nigeria after having been stuck in London for a month... blog updates and photos coming soon I promise...

The Roof of Africa

Kez and I made it to the roof of Africa (Mount Kilimanjaro 5895m) and it was fabulous!  The first five days were so easy compared to my previous treks in the Himalayas (Annapurna Circuit 5416m and Kala Patthar 5643m) because we had the luxury of chill out time or afternoon naps.  Days six and seven threw up some challenges and great fun.  From Barranco camp we were faced with a "mini scramble" over the Great Barranco Wall... well at least that's what our guide, August, liked to call it.  I spent much of the day debating his choice of terminology and personally thought it was more like "beginner's rock climbing"  which was no small feat given that I'm terrified of heights!  I wish I had photo evidence that did justice to my efforts but quite frankly I was far too busy trying not to fall to an early grave.

We kicked off at midnight on day six for our push to the summit with just over 1000m altitude to climb and reached Uhuru Point in time for sunrise.  There's never words sufficient to describe the feeling when you make it... perhaps a mix of elation, achievement, relief and absolute awe at the surroundings.  The glaciers on Kilimanjaro are nothing short of magical!

The trek from the summit was a very different experience to Nepal.  We "scree walked" down the rocky slopes at a cracking pace.  It's like ski-ing on your boots and it was such wonderful fun!

A highlight for me was the food!  Our cook, Patrick, had a mighty knack for turning out delicious meals over a little gas stove in a tent.  And our waiter, Alex, guaranteed laughter on a daily basis.  He spoke brilliant English but was intent on teaching me Swahili so meals came paired with his wonderful grin and an always entertaining chat where my comprehension and replies left much to be desired.

With another high altitude achievement under our belt, it was time to celebrate and what a great night it was!

I'm a big believer that every mountain conquered warrants some quality relaxation and Zanzibar definitely hit the spot.  Five days at Fumba Lodge was the perfect setting to spend lazy days reading, eating, drinking and laughing ourselves silly.

With our energy renewed we headed to Stonetown to explore it's maze of lane ways, get in some shopping and hit the local nightlife.  We wrapped things up in Dar es Salaam and begrudgingly headed back to reality.

If my photos inspire you to take on the trekking challenge or spend lazy days in Zanzibar, I'd highly recommend Gladys who made all our travel arrangements (www.gladysadventure.com)... she's got a wonderful team, she's a total sweetie and she'll cater to your every whim!

Bombs, Blood and Meltdown

The last two weeks saw me clocking up a few firsts for my time in Nigeria.

I experienced my first bombing which was detonated in the car park of the Abuja Police Headquarters.  I missed the sound of the explosion but watched the smoky aftermath from my office window.  News reports suggest that it claimed eight lives, injured several others and destroyed about eighty cars.  It's certainly not the first bombing in Nigeria, although the fact that it was a suicide bomber is a new phenomenon.

Photo courtesy of nigeriadailynews.com

I was challenged with my first IT meltdown thanks to a nasty little virus that crashed my system.  It very much made me realise how reliant I am on technology to keep me in touch with the outside world.

And on a much lighter note, I donated my first pint of blood to the Nigerian National Blood Service as my little way of supporting World Blood Donor Day.

The theme for World Blood Donor Day 2011 was “More Blood More Life” aimed at reinforcing the urgent need for more people globally to become life-savers by voluntarily donating blood on a regular basis.

Approximately 93 million units of blood are currently donated globally to save lives and improve health.  Adequate supplies are crucial to replace blood lost in childbirth (a major cause of maternal death), to treat anaemia that threatens the lives of children who have malaria or are undernourished, for treating congenital blood disorders, and for routine and emergency surgery including life-saving treatment for the growing number of people injured in road traffic accidents.

It is estimated that Nigeria needs 1.13million units of blood annually to meet the country’s requirements for blood transfusions.  With a population of 158million, that means that just 0.7% of people could make all the difference.


There's loads of benefits to giving blood:

• “Doing good to someone in need not only helps the needy but also gives psychological satisfaction to the donor.  One of the easiest but valuable donations is the donation of blood for the needy."
• Blood donation helps to maintain healthy iron levels in the blood which reduces the risk of heart disease and stroke (and fights hemochromatosis).
• Blood donation helps to stimulate the production of new blood cells.
• Blood donors receive basic medical screening (weight, blood pressure, HIV, hepatitis viruses and syphilis) meaning that they are more in control of their own health status.
• Evidence shows that voluntary donors are at lower risk of transmitting life-threatening infections through their blood than family and replacement donors, and especially paid donors.

PS: 4 days until I depart for Tanzania so my blog will be especially quiet over the next few weeks.  Stay tuned though for some exciting photos and stories of adventure, fun and laughter!

Love, Marriage and Babies

These are three very serious topics in Nigeria, ranked utmost in the cultures value system, as I was quick to learn when I underwent my security clearance.  My interviewer read over my application documents, peered at me over the rim of her glasses and exclaimed "You're 39 years old, not married and don't have any children - are you gay?"

Having negotiated my way successfully through an explanation about my career, travel and freedom priorities we moved straight onto a very common assumption in Nigeria.  I'm a "bature" or an "oyibo" meaning a white person which instantly equates me with being wealthy and a very good marriage catch.  The interviewer jumped at the chance to brief me on the finer qualities of her brothers who were both available.  Not wanting to offend I used my most favourite tactic to move the conversation along without any sort of commitment... laughter.

Later in the interview we came to the topic of my salary.  She reviewed my documents and inquired as to whether I'd inadvertently left off a couple of zeros in my yearly earnings.  When I explained that the figure was accurate and talked about my being in the country as a volunteer, she was very swift to withdraw the offer of her brothers as my potential husbands.  Somehow I'm confident that the last laugh was on me!

My unfounded status as the ideal marriage partner means I'm eternally bombarded with male attention and I've come to find the Nigerian approach to pick up lines most amusing although at times relentless, tiring and downright annoying.  There's two key messages; power (to evidence that they'll give you a good life) and friendship (to prove that they're not looking for a casual fling).

• "I earn more than your boyfriend."  Take a moment to think about how many wild assumptions are in that one; I have a boyfriend, you know how much he earns and I'd dump him in an instant for more wealth.
• "I'm a business man - I could meet you in London, America, anywhere you like."  Well, that's nice dear but quite frankly I'm planning on staying in Nigeria.
• Another favourite approach is to immediately present you with a list of names of all the powerful people that they know.  Not much use on a girl from out of town, even if she was stupid enough to believe it.
• And this weekend I was handed a serviette by a waitress with no indication of where it came from that simply read "I would really like to be friends with you and I think a call would be appreciated."  Absolutely, I'll call a random number in the hope that my ideal match just happens to answer (not)!

Hembelembeh, Olohlololoh

Every morning I greet my driver with a "Hembelembeh" and he replies with an "Olohlololoh" and with that, we know we're in for a great day.  Words on a page don't quite do the phrase justice... it needs the pizazz of a rhythmical singing tone!  It's a tradition that spawned from our listening to the Brekete reality radio show each morning.  Brekete went to air in January 2010 and describes itself as "a voice to the voiceless, a leg to the legless, a hand to the handless and an advocate of the underprivileged."  "Hembelembeh, Olohlololoh" is their slogan which stands for happiness.  They believe happiness comes from social equity, from equal opportunity, from fairness, from hard work, patriotism and from faith in God.  Who can argue with that?  Hembelembeh!

The first catch cry that got my attention in Nigeria was "you're welcome."  It seemed the perfect greeting as I made my way through the airport terminal and all the airline staff presented me with a huge Nigerian grin and "you're welcome."  "Thank you" I'd reply with similar enthusiasm as I delighted in the passion of the people in my new home country.  The joy of my existence continued as my collection of "you're welcomes" amassed over coming days on arrival at the hotel, the office, the local market, shopping center, food vendors and even from people who simply seemed privileged that I'd entered their space on the pavement... "you're welcome."  Until it finally struck me that it's the Nigerian way of saying hello!  Whether you're actually welcome or not is an entirely different question.

This was perhaps a most important lesson in not taking meanings at face value and just in time for my next encounter of unique Nigerian terminology.  At the end of a meeting I was presented with a business card and the words "flash me."  Imagine the surprise of my colleague had I suddenly given them "Naked in Nigeria" for real?  As it turns out, "flash me" is a request to call someone and hang up so that you're number appears on their mobile and they can add you to their contacts.  Whether that leads to the more x-rated version of flashing we know in Australia is entirely up to you!

This week however I remain bewildered over another new term that presented itself in a media interview about the governments commitment to fairness and transparency in politics.  They adamantly claimed they would remove all shady characters and stamp out "the jinx of the proverbial banana peel."  I can only assume it alludes to those with slippery fingers and a penchant for corruption.  Stamp them out indeed!

Amazing Race

This time next month I'm thrilled to be boarding a flight to Tanzania to notch up another trekking achievement.  I'm taking on Mount Kilimanjaro - my highest point so far (5895m) and also the highest free-standing mountain in the world!  Better still, I'll be joined by my Amazing Race buddy (Kez) so there's bound to be much fun and laughter once the hard yards are behind us.

We've opted for the Lemosho Route which is the longest, most scenic and most remote route on Kilimanjaro.  The trek starts out in Lemosho Glades which are rich in buffalo, elephant and other game so that's a new twist on our trekking history.  As is the fact that we'll be braving the great outdoors and camping on our overnight stops.

I'm a firm believer that all trekking accomplishments should be celebrated with food, drink and laziness so from Kilimanjaro we're headed to Zanzibar for a week of play and pamper at Fumba Beach Lodge and Swahili House.  I can't wait!

Speaking of Amazing Race feats, Chloe (who lived with me in Nigeria for the first three months) is taking on the New York City marathon in November 2011.  She's dedicating each kilometer to the mission of improving access to health care in Tanzania by running in support of the Touch Foundation Team (www.touchfoundation.org).  This is a mammoth effort and one that I'm only too happy to support from the sidelines.  So, if you've been wondering how to gather some tax deductions and you're keen to support a good cause, make a donation via www.crowdrise.com/chloemanchester.  You can also check out Chloe's training progress at www.united-manchester.tumblr.com/NYCMARATHON2011.

   

The Great Food Adventure

Food options in Nigeria on a volunteer budget are a little limited.  My diet revolves around pasta, rice, tomatoes, onions, potatoes, tuna, corn, eggs and fruit.  Tough going for a girl who's used to restaurant food from around the world!

Things changed for the better when I met Laura though.  She's a delightful Cameroonian lady who barbeques tilapia fish in the most wonderful mix of spices and serves it with chips, salad, mayonnaise and pepe sauce.

A weekly visit to tantalise my taste buds with tilapia means some very strict budgeting but it's absolutely worth it.  Mind you, Laura's moved from an outdoor barbeque to a fully fledged indoor kitchen and restaurant in the couple of months of my obsession so it seems its smiles all round.

Determined to find some food variety, it's been a month jam packed with interesting food adventures.

There was the West African equivalent of a late night kebab, introduced by the Hausa people and known as Suya.  Beef or chicken is marinated in a powder of finely ground roasted peanuts, cayenne pepper, paprika, garlic, ginger and onion and barbequed on skewers.  And to think people warned me that I wouldn't find spicy food in Nigeria... ridiculous!

And Kilichi, which is the Nigerian version of beef jerky smothered in pepe.  By now you'll be noticing a trend - pretty much all food in Nigeria is based around their beloved pepe.  I'm grateful in many ways because it makes beef jerky addictive (which I never thought I'd say), satisfies my desire for chilli and is fantastic for hiding cuts of meat that you're definitely better off not seeing!

This weekend saw me take the food adventure to a whole new level with snails.  Now I'm not talking about your dainty little escargot served in garlic butter but rather giant ugly things.

You guessed it... served in the miracle that is pepe.

They weren't nearly as bad as you might imagine.  In fact they really had no taste at all or if they did, it was overpowered by the pepe.  That said, when one snail is worth more than a third of the price of a tilapia, you can guarantee my loyalty stays with Laura!

The Little School Under the Mango Tree

Life as a volunteer in Nigeria teaches gratitude.  It makes you realise how much we sometimes take for granted and it makes you stop and appreciate the little things that happen every day.

Abdul Tashiu is a volunteer that I had the pleasure of meeting when I was in Kafanchan.  He's a twenty six year old Fulani boy whose volunteering story really stands out from the crowd.  From a very young age he was committed to education.  He traveled two hours each day for primary school and was away from home for twelve hours a day to manage the commute for secondary school.  He was the first in his community to graduate and his parents worked very hard to save enough money for him to go to college to study teaching.

Sadly his dreams were shattered when it turned out that the college he enrolled in was a scam; all the money was lost and there was nowhere for him to study.  It also created a rift with his parents who weren't sure if he'd squandered his tuition fees.

Abdul isn't one to give up however.  With the support of the Fantsuam Foundation he achieved his Diploma in Information Technology.  He also got involved with the Gaiya National Volunteer Program which equipped him with the skills to mobilize and facilitate change.

Abdul embarked on two projects to support his community; a clinic and a local school.  While rallying to raise funds for the buildings, "The Little School Under the Mango Tree" sprang to life.  Determined to encourage learning within his community, three teaching staff and sixty five children attended outdoor classes under the shade of a tree.  The number of children has now increased to eighty.

 

 

Funding for the projects to date has primarily come from lumber sales and donations.  The start of the wet season this year damaged much of the recent progress made on the school.  As always, Abdul and the children's resolve for education was a force to be reckoned with.  In his own words "Problem can either make you or break you.  The hammer that breaks glass can shape steel.  It's up to you whether to be glass or steel.  Have a will power of steel and a vision of glass."

 

 

Recently, Abdul's enthusiasm and tenacity saw him win two awards as part of the International Year of the Volunteer (an Award of Excellence and Volunteer of the Year).  Now he's shooting for the stars and hoping to be part of President Obama's Forum for Young African Leaders.  Go for gold Abdul... I adore your spirit!

As I write this tonight, it breaks my heart that Abdul and his family have been caught up in Nigeria's election violence.  Four of his brothers have been killed, their house burnt down and many of his family are still missing.  Who knows what's become of "The Little School Under the Mango Tree."

Before sharing this tragic news with me today, Abdul's first thought was to ask whether I was safe.

We should all take a lesson in gratitude, courage and determination.  Stay strong Abdul!

I Promise Fresh Air

"I assure you of fresh air" is one of the popular campaign slogans for President Goodluck Jonathan that has caused me some amusement in the lead up to today's first electoral polls.  Nigeria has been big on the uptake of the saying "a breath of fresh air" but it's certainly been somewhat twisted as though filtered by a little game of Chinese whispers. There's nothing more gratifying than receiving the compliment "you're such fresh breath to me!"

So in keeping with the popular theme, the "Coalition for Fresh Air in Nigeria" has erected many a billboard reminding us that Goodluck "is the messiah sent to bring fresh air to all Nigerians."  At face value, this is one mighty electoral promise!  Check out the state of our air in these photos.

Putting literal translations aside, there still seems to be some confusion though.  Since President Goodluck Jonathan has been in power since the May-2010 death of the former elected leader Umaru Yar'Adua, it's hard to see how a vote for him is a vote for new politics.

But as I woke up this morning on this important day in Nigerian democratic history, the clouds had lifted and the message was clear.  Non-essential businesses are closed and travel is banned for the next three voting Saturdays.  It's pitched as a means to control security and ensure a peaceful process but it got me wondering whether anyones thought about the green implications.  Maybe the People's Democratic Party really can promise "fresh air" in shutting down business and keeping the countries 158 million people off the roads?

It's the Simple Things in Life

I’ve often marvelled at the idea of seeing my own city through my tourist eyes or practicing the playfulness and curiosity of a child.  Nigeria gives me that opportunity.  I’ve come to realise that when life is stripped back to basics, it really is the simple things that keep you smiling.

Our weekly market outing is always a highlight.  The sounds, smells, chaos and colours tickle your senses and serve as a constant reminder that it’s not an activity for the faint-hearted.  There’s something amusing about the eternal fascination that my whiteness attracts with the constant cries of “baturi” and “oyibo” (white person in Hausa and Igbo).  Bargaining is an essential part of life and a talent you quickly master.  Like everything else in Nigeria, laughter is the secret weapon in the negotiating game.  A snide giggle and a few local words is all that it takes to make sure the white-price is slashed and the mood switched to one of laughter, adoration and secret handshakes.

Food often fuels my simple pleasures and never more so than when I’m spoilt with things that have now become life’s luxuries.  This weekend has been a total taste bud treat with pizza, wine and chocolate.  Never again will I take such devilish things for granted!

Sometimes joy comes from living vicariously through friends whose volunteer experience is a little more grass roots than my privileged existence.  Try to imagine a work environment where your boss is known as “mumzy” and you demonstrate respect to your superiors with the ludicrous titles of “auntie” or “uncle.”

In keeping with the theme of aunties, innocence, playfulness, curiosity and joy… today we welcomed the gorgeous little Oskar Jack Tremethick to the world… congratulations Sam and Anna!

What in the Word?

It's words that have kept me entertained in the last 24 hours.

What exactly would you like with your food?  Food and fish, food and chicken, or perhaps food and beef?  If you're hungry, can I suggest a side serve of extra food?

The menu itself had me in stitches but the real clincher came when we were told that since it was Sunday and everyone was at church there was "no food, only meat."

I can only assume that "food" is something like pounded yam which is a Nigerian favourite but since there wasn't any food, it remains one of life's great mysteries for now.

On the flip side however, I'm delighted to report that Nigeria is leading the way in the fight against malaria as this news headline proves:

"Some experts at the weekend blamed the colossal loss of under-five children and pregnant women to malaria in Nigeria on lack of proper policy direction on the disease.  They called for commitment by all Nigerians to kill at least one mosquito a day in order to reverse the trend."

So obvious really.  I'm going to do my bit for the country and up the anti to five a day!

Nigerian Wedding

Nigerian weddings are a vibrant celebration of colour, song and dance.  The bride selects a favourite material and guests have the option of tailoring matching outfits, complete with traditional head wraps.  They're such a time of celebration that it's quite acceptable to attend even if you've never met the bride and groom.  Sadly for me, I didn't have time to meet with the tailor but I'm thrilled to have been part of the 500 strong crowd.

This House is Not for Sale or Rent

Maybe it's just me but I'm not particularly fussed that "this house is not for sale or rent." 
A roof has always been on my list of property must-haves!

To explain this situation a little further though, I quote from the book I'm currently reading (A Culture of Corruption; Daniel Jordan Smith).  To understand the passage you first need to know that the "primary mode of illegitimate corruption in Nigeria is 419.  Named after the number in the Nigerian penal code that deals with a specific form of fraud."

"Ask any Nigerian the purpose of the message and they will quickly tell you that it is to prevent 419.  Apparently, one popular method of 419 is to assume the identity of a real estate agent or simply a property owner trying to sell one's house.  In Nigeria's cities and towns, where the real estate market is tight, buyers can be induced to make down payments to secure a later purchase, and in some cases entire transactions have been completed before the buyer discovered that the deal was a scam.  By labeling houses as "not for sale" property owners are trying to prevent themselves and their buildings from becoming embroiled in 419 cases - and in Nigeria there is always the added fear that even if your house has been sold in a scam, you might still lose it if the buyer has more money or better political connections."

I told you we might all learn a little something from my blog!

Leaping Lizards

Before leaving Australia I'd wondered what sorts of creepy crawly things would torment me in Abuja.  Maybe it was my childhood memories of tropical cockroaches in Papua New Guinea or my dad's recent tales of rats in East Timor, but I was very much hoping that Nigerian nature and I could find a way to happily cohabitate.

So far so good...

I haven't yet seen a cockroach, although Stephanie reports a possible suspect last seen scurrying to hide in our kitchen.  And we haven't yet had to challenge my dad's rat trapping record, with our only rodent visitor being a mouse presuming he might join us for dinner one night.

Meanwhile, I've developed a small infatuation with our local lizards.  There's so many of them and they've got quite a personality.  Not to mention that their body language suggests they're absolutely petrified of me, which is something I find most appealing in a relationship with a reptile. 

As they sense me on approach during my walks, they bob their heads up and down trying to gauge the level of danger.  It's somewhat reminiscent of the "be alert, not alarmed" terrorism campaign.  One or two steps closer though and their adrenaline rush kicks into overdrive as they race off to safety.

One paid us a visit in a meeting this week and got himself in quite a state when he realised he was trapped under a boardroom table with human feet every which way he looked!

There's another who pays a regular visit to my office window, bobs his head, stares at me inquisitively and then inevitably freaks himself out and does a mercy dash.  The fact that we share this intimate moment daily and that I haven't yet made any effort to attack him seems of absolutely no consequence to his confidence.  Maybe he's shy and needs time to get to know me!

Nigeria is a Health Farm

If you know me well, please make sure you're seated before reading on...

I moved into my house five days ago and I've cooked all but one meal since then (and that was only because we were spoilt with a team dinner at Wakkis on Friday)!  Not only have I cooked, but my diet is overflowing with freshness and health.  Chloe and Stephanie are amazing cooks so I'm learning something new everyday.  As if I'd ever have known to put my fresh white beans in the freezer overnight so I could kill all the bugs?  Let's be honest - I think we can safely assume that I've never even purchased white beans before!  Then today I filled them with water, let the bugs float to the top and presto - clean beans.

Starting today I've also added in a regular exercise program.  I'm committed to doing 5km around our compound track everyday with 10km on Sunday for good measure.  Who knows - maybe I'll even work my way up to a jog? And throw in a few laps of the pool to cool down.

Combine that lifestyle with the fact that I drink roughly two litres of water each day because of the heat and can rarely afford evil treats like alcohol, chocolate or cheese and the Nigerian Health Farm experience is a clear winner!

Not to mention that there's a regular and reliable source of vitamin D from the sun which also ensures a healthy glow and the sensible working hours mean it's easy to get a solid eight hours sleep each night.

Do I love Nigeria?  Absolutely yes!

Expat Living Minus the Salary

Having mentally prepared myself for the most basic of living standards I find myself blessed with expat-style accommodation beyond my wildest dreams.  I share a double story, three bedroom house with two delightful girls (Chloe and Stephanie) in the most exclusive part of Abuja.

Everyday I pinch myself just to make sure it's real!

Living with a foot inside both the expat and volunteering worlds gives rise to it's own unique challenges however.  For example, how do you explain at the market that you can't possibly afford the price of washing powder when there's a clear assumption that you must have a machine?  Or how do you get another expat to comprehend that a glass of wine absolutely blows your NGN7000 (AUD45) weekly budget?

Life is tough (not)!

Life Without Power and Water

Kafanchan is a town roughly 2.5-3 hours north east of Abuja in southern Kaduna state with a population of approximately 85,000 people.  As one of the main junctions of the local railway system it was once a busy and thriving town but since the collapse of the railway it's residents have turned primarily to agriculture.

It offered me a wonderful four day adventure and lessons in life without power and water.  What sort of activities are available with such constraints?

• I turned local celebrity by being filmed at the opening of the Fantsuam Foundation Rural Health Centre for a local news station, despite that I'll never see it since a television would be pointless in a town without power.

• I attended my first agricultural lesson in Hausa and fast learnt that being white prompts some common assumptions and expectations; I'm automatically considered a wealthy philanthropist, I'm expected to introduce myself from the stage and I'm incredibly amusing (so much so that I can prompt hysterical laughter without even opening my mouth).

• I was treated to a Kenyan meal of wet fry beef, ugali, omelette and vegetables prepared painstakingly on a kerosene stove.  This activity reinforced the fact that I have an iron-gut capable of even sustaining meat bought from an outdoor market sweltering in 40-45 degree heat.

• I returned the favour by teaming up and preparing vegetarian pasta.  Eating market meat is one thing; purchasing and preparing it is a whole new ball game that's on hold for now.  Although I also achieved my first lesson in catching, killing and plucking a chicken!  I always thought I'd be a great contestant on Amazing Race but perhaps I should be aiming for Survivor with my newly acquired skills.
• I sampled Nigerian beer, got over excited when offered a pie (only to discover that really means pastie) and boogied the night away with the locals to generator driven beats.

• I also tried palm wine which is a local favourite but let's just say "been there, done that, never doing it again!"  The smell alone is enough to kill!

• I capped off the weekend with a magnificent hike to waterfalls in the Kagoro hills.  It was a wonderful break from the constant noise, dust and craziness that is Nigeria.

Thanks to Kim, Nicholas, Jenny, Gordon and all the fabulous Fantsuam staff for such fun times xxx